Dear Eligible Men…

Last week was probably the toughest week because S and I were supposed to be in Cancun.  I was supposed to be swimming with the whale sharks, living up my YOLO list.  Instead, I ended up filling my time with random things….Anything to keep my mind off of S and dating.

It’s been a month and a half…I cannot go to Costco other than to get gas. I have not stepped foot in Harris Teeter by my house. Everything still brings small reminders. I still feel a piece of me missing.

I hope all single females in the DMV feel like this because men here love themselves a little too much.  Cindy told me, she’s never afraid of me getting the attention of men, it’s just finding the right one.   I will never find another S. He was truly special, but he’s no longer here. I have to find someone else, but it has been hard.  Here is my letter to men in general based on my dating experience so far:

Dear Eligible Men,

As much as it stinks to be back on the dating market and you all have very high standards to live up to.  S was a fantastic boyfriend for 2 years and I will not settle for less after knowing what he did for me.

Our first date, he waited 2 ½ hours because I was late. He drove me from Rockville home to Arlington at 2 AM. For the entire night, we never talked about his work or his studies. We talked about how many shoes I had and S told me we could only share a pair. I negotiated to 11 pairs. I told him my Hello Kitty has 3 pairs herself, he said he would steal her shoes too and sell them.  We laughed about everything.

As you are dating me or any other girl, please know the following:

  1. I do not care where you got your degree. I got mine at little old University of Utah…I will never compare to your degree from Carnegie Mellon, Yale, or Harvard, but FYI…we all used the same books in MBA school.  Your school does not matter to me, it does not impress me.
  2. What do you do?  I don’t care.  You have a limited time with me on a first date…maybe 1 ½ hours tops, so don’t spend an hour telling me about your job.  If you ask me what I do, I tell you I analyze a budget, which is the end of how I explain my job.  If they want to know more, I tell them I make excel sheets look really pretty.  Your job does not define you as a person and if it does, that’s sad.
  3. No more plans.   After all of my dates, most of them ask me for a second date at my car or in a text later.  They keep asking to be scheduled in.  I told them, let’s play it by ear. It drives them crazy.
  4. Stop being so serious.  I have not encountered one FUNNY guy on a date.  All of them are so serious and so proper. I want to see you let loose and joke around.
  5. Stop complaining about my texting. Yes, I’m a horrible texter when I’m single.  Welcome to my life. Until you catch me, expect a text when I feel like it.  By telling me I’m bad, you’ll get less text messages.
  6. What do you do for fun? FYI, watching documentaries and reading books is not fun.  I’m looking for traveling, exploring, bowling, laser tagging, all of that.  Please be a real person and stop impressing me.
  7. Don’t try to make me jealous. Stop sending pictures or telling me stories about a cousin setting you up with someone (True story). I told the guy that if he is trying to make me jealous, it’s not working. His answer…don’t worry they are nowhere near your league.  FYI- I don’t care.
  8. Take me as I am.   Many of the guys said they never expected me to be like I am.  They thought I was a very professional and put together person.  Once we talk and they find out about me, they are a little shocked.  I will never change who I am, I love Hello Kitty, all things pink and sparkly, I am easily distracted, I love every reality TV show there is.  I am an Asian that LOVES country music. I spend my life shopping for no reason even.  I love all kinds of cheese. I snore, I trip, and I fall. It is who I am.

Until I find the right one, please enjoy a first, maybe a second date. If you want to date me or any woman…Please step it up DMV men.

XOXO

Exhibit A- I was so much better when I was in a relationship. Now I’ve reverted back to my old ways.
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One Response to Dear Eligible Men…

  1. Lisa says:

    Aw, twin 😦 I’m sorry! I didn’t know last week was Cancun. No wonder you were texting me about going on an international trip. I love you so much twin. I love that you are a intelligent hard working woman but you’re also a kid at heart and know how to have fun! Can’t wait to see you in Chicago!! We will have so much fun and it’ll get your mind off S.

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