Life lessons and a commitment to Marice

Marice and I had an amazing/interesting girls night. My friend was feeling a little blue, so of course I’ll be there for her. She needed some entertainment and I can always make her laugh. I am glad my crazy personality can help entertain someone.

We went to have CPK and ice cream. CPK had a hair in the appetizer…and the ice cream place lied about their BOGO special. Oh well…it’s about the company, but what better of a combination to cure some post-break up blues than pizza and ice cream?

I told her our conversation is going to be the next blog post. She was so kind and said she loves my blog…she said it entertains, it’s so real, truthful with emotions, funny, and I was shocked…she said inspiring.

She was talking about her last relationship and asked for tips how to move on. Everyone handles it differently. Here are some of the common ways:
1- Go into a depression. A lot of people do for a long time. Well life is too short…Eh..pass
2- Some people go through a slutty phase where they’ll be with whoever. Again…gross…so pass.
3- Drinking. Sometimes needed, please never make it a lifestyle.
4- Go on a crazy spending spree. If I had money, I’d totally do this.
5- Exercise. Ding, ding, ding. This has been the best way I can recommend to deal with it.

She asked me if she could find another partner as compatible. Absolutely and without a doubt there will be another person. I know it seems grim, there are even days when I wonder, but I promise there is another person who will come into your life. There will be someone who comes into your life that loves you so much that they would do anything to keep you in it. It’ll be a person that loves all of you as is.

I promised her that if by 30, she has not found someone else; I will take her to Puerto Rico on my dime. That is how sure I am she will find another. It just takes time for your heart to heal.

She asked me a few questions on how to move on and here is my honest answer as I’m going through this same situation.

1. How do you stop having feelings for you ex?
a. You don’t. You are not a robot. Love runs deep and you can’t just turn off your feelings. There will be days when you wish it was a bad dream and there are other days when a thought never crosses your mind. There are days when you are so angry at the person, days when you are crying over memories, and days where you are perfectly fine. Those are great days and take them as they come.
b. Remove all pictures of them. I moved them to a place where I have to intentionally go to. All those pictures are off my computer and I have not looked at them since we broke up.
c. Remove all items that belong to them. When S bailed, he left a lot of random stuff at my house. Well, they are in a donation box ready for someone else to use.
d. Keep super busy. Thank goodness for my good friends.
e. Write a note. Write down everything you would say if you saw him one more time. Every good and bad thoughts. It helps…Mine is a 4 page letter with good memories, good wishes, and WTF, how could you do that to me.

2. Do you wish you could do it over?
a. All the time. It’s natural, after giving so much to someone, you replay where things went wrong. The answer is… no matter what you could have done differently, nothing can change.
b. You go back to specific decisions and wonder if it would have changed things. Again, nope.

3. Can you ever be friends?
a. No. To be honest, when you have that passion, that deep connection, you cannot just become platonic friends.
b. It did not work out; it would be painful to be friends.
c. If you can be friends, it would be a long time, maybe a year, or when you find someone new, but if you find someone new, do you really want to be friends with your ex?

4. Should you care about them still?
a. No. Their happiness, their life, their decisions, their successes and failures are no longer your worry.
b. When you worry about them, you hurt yourself. Again, you have no obligation to them anymore.
c. Of course you are not a monster, so once in a while you wonder, but don’t dwell on it.

*Truth…the only thing that helps is having great people in your life and time. Time truly does help you heal.

I promise it seems hard now, but hopefully these quotes will help.

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