I had to share this article for my readers. I love this article and it is seriously the truth and nothing but the truth. Check it out here.
I feel like she took the words from my mouth. Over the years, a lot of my friends always come to me for advice and I never sugarcoat, she is like me when it comes to saying it as it is. I’ve always had people ask me questions about expectations for men, how to be happy, how to be treasured, etc…Here is my cliff notes version that I have always lived/believed in and words of wisdom for every woman should know as an adult. It’s the same advice I’ve given Amber, my twin, Tammy, Marice, etc…Now it’s all wrapped up in a nice little list. Here is my version for you all.
1. Love yourself. The first step before you can be in a relationship with someone else is to love yourself, every piece of yourself. No one is perfect and if you spend your life comparing to others, you’ll never love yourself. Just accept who you are, embrace it. I embrace the fact that I am directionally challenged, so bad that even if they had a support group, they would kick me out, all hope is lost. I snore very loud to the point where Jessie said that she cannot believe that noise can come from such a little person. I am a space brain, I am so forgetful, and seriously…if my head was not attached to my body, I would probably lose it. I fall, trip, and at times pass out when I fall. I accept all these odd quirks and now you should accept yours as well.
2. Be happy. Positive people are the best kind of people. Not that I’m saying you are not allowed moments to be sad, negative, and angry, but the most happy people can always see the glass half full. Also, it takes so much more energy to be negative and sad. Being happy is freeing, it’s liberating, it’s healthy mentally and physically. Plus happy people attract other happy people. Optimistic people are the ones who rise. If you do find yourself in a spot of anger and gloom, which I will tell you has been the past few months, let go. It is the best feeling in the world. Not that you won’t forget the wrong done to you, but it does not do you any good to be angry, it takes a stronger person to be happy.
3. Live your life. My favorite saying is the fact that you have to live your life to the fullest. I know a lot of people say, I would do this when, well there honestly may be one day when there isn’t a when. Life is a gift and you have to make sure to live each day. Make your bucket list, live your life, do whatever you have wanted to.
4. Protect your heart. To be in the love is the best feeling in the world. You feel over the moon, floating in the clouds, and making your life a real life musical. You want to dance down the streets, hold hands running through the sprinklers and kiss in the rain. I believe everyone deserves to be loved, to be in a great relationship, to know that you’ll always have someone next to you. But after having your heart broken, you have to be smart about loving again. Of course you will, life is nothing without love, but you can just see the red flags early. Kudos to T-swift who has her heart broken on a regular basis, but also she makes a lot of money from her heartaches.
5. Ambition and goals are sexy. She says in her article, everyone loves a confident woman. I’ve had people ask what confidence looks like. IDK? It’s just the way you pose yourself. It’s your mannerisms, your belief of your self-worth, the fact that you know what you want. Set high goals.
6. Every woman is beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is no set definition of beauty. Some believe light skin and dark hair is beautiful, others believe that big eyes or a “tall” nose defines beauty. Every woman is different, accept your beauty. Beauty is a combination of your genetics, personality, heart, and soul. A good personality is the key to everything.
7. No expectation is unrealistic. Some of my friends have asked if the reasons their relationships fail is because they expect too much from a man. The simple answer is no. A relationship is about compromise, but if there are expectations that you want from a man, express it, ask for it and you shall receive if it is the right guy. You should never have to feel bad to ask a man if he’ll take care of an issue with your car, if he’ll help you hammer something in your house, or fix the drain when it’s clogged. Don’t feel that you don’t deserve to be wined and dined, to have a guy get out and fill the gas for you when it’s cold, to drive the distance to be with you or make space in his life for you when you are ready. I have had someone who did all that and more, so going forward, you should know men will do that and you deserve no less. You deserve to have your expectations met and in return, you compromise on what he wants as well.
8. This was #8 on her list as well. When I was your man by Bruno Mars should be every woman’s serenade. You totally deserve what he says. Seriously the man knows exactly what to say. You will go through several loves in your life, if you are the lucky few to end up with your first and only love that is great, but most will not. You are fabulous and make sure to stay fabulous, you deserve to be treated well and if the man does not and let you go, eventually he’ll realize this is his anthem and it will be too late.
9. Why every song relates to me? Music is so good for you. When you are happy, you never relate to any of the break-up songs, but the minute it all goes downhill, you feel as if every song speaks to you. Music makes anything better, just go in the car and blast whatever song you love. Belt out the lyrics and who cares if the person in the next car thinks you are cray cray, maybe they’ll even join in the party. If you are in a bad mood, this can turn your frown upside down.
10. Don’t forget to trust. As we venture through life, I think everyone gets more and more cynical. It is better to live in a world of trust than it is to believe that you cannot trust anyone. Use your judgment, don’t trust a druggie, and don’t trust someone who has a background of lying or cheating, but until a person gives a reason, believe that there is good in them.
11. Dress for success. In college, American Eagle, Gap, etc…was accepted. After age 25, you better take a second look at your wardrobe. They say that how you dress is how well you succeed. Start saving your money to buy nicer items, dressing well can make or break your career. My favorite shops are New York and Company, Express, Macy’s and Ann Taylor.
12. Start loving exercise. If you take care of your body, it’ll take care of you. Exercise and eating right not only makes you look good, but it makes you feel good too. You don’t have to be hardcore, even a 30 minute walk clears the mind. My 2 hour walks was my saving grace these past few months.
13. Little black dress. Black looks good on everyone. Every girl should have one or two little black dresses on hand that can be dressed up for any occasion. Make sure it’s appropriate that you can wear on a first date, to an event, or just a night on the town. Little black dresses make any woman walk as if she owns the world…oh and you must have black heels to match.
14. Love your body. No woman is shaped the same and everyone thinks the grass is greener. Those who have no curves want curves. Those who have small breasts want enhancements and those with too large of breasts will get a reduction just like Jackie on Housewives. You can always find something wrong with your body. My booty is so big that it knocks things over…oh well. It’s here to stay.
15. Love the best people in your life. Life is nothing without people in it. What good is it to have so much money and no one to share it with? People make life worth living. So spend your life filling it with good people, with people who make you better, who support, love, and challenge you to be better. If you find a friend who will stick with you through thick and thin, do not let them leave your life. And remember…friendship is a two way street.
16. Be nice. No matter how successful, busy, or tired you are, always be nice. Be nice to your family, to your friends, lover, co-workers and strangers on the street. If someone drops something, take the 2 seconds to stop and pick it up, make sure to hold the elevator, let the lady with 2 screaming kids at the grocery line go ahead.
17. The memories are everything. Keep your camera handy. Take lots of pictures. You’ll be thankful when you can look back 50 years later.
18. Crazy dates=fabulous stories. You’ll have good dates, bad dates, and crazy dates. All of them will eventually be a funny story that you can tell you future husband and kids. Also, it is definitely entertaining for all your friends.
19. Karma does exist. Some people do not believe in karma. It totally exists, live your life right, be good to others, end things right. If you release “bad juju” into the world, bad juju will eventually come back and bite you in the booty and you won’t like it.
20. Guys will love me when…Ugh…this is my biggest pet peeve. Love does not have any restraints. Many of my friends guys and girls have told me, I’ll start dating in the spring, I’ll start dating after I lose this much weight, etc… Stop making up excuses and just have fun. I hear this from so many people for dating, going back to school, even trying to better themselves. If you wait and keep making excuses, you will miss out on living life.
21. He wants me to change what? Girls…You should never change for a man. I think it is ok to become better for a man, but do not change yourself for them. A man should love you as is because you should love them for all their flaws. If they need you to change something to love you or give you a condition for love, it’s not true love. Move along. I believe you both can express your wishes and you as a person choose to change, but they should be ok with you whether you change or not. S had always wished I controlled my sugar intake, so one day I was driving to his house and he made me promise not to eat as much sweets. I told him I wanted a soft serve ice cream cone, he told me no. I went and got the ice cream anyways and when I went to ring the doorbell, when he opened the door, I took a giant lick and said all mine. At that point, he realized I am untamable and accepted it. Again they can ask, but that does not mean they’ll receive.
22. Traveling is good for the soul. Travel, see the world, explore, and make amazing memories. Traveling not only exposes you to new things, it’s a time to be free, to be someone else, and to meet new people. Go as often as you can, go with your girlfriends, and make the most of each trip, so you have no regrets and you wake up one day and say, I’ve seen everything I want to see….Now let’s do it again.
23. Being financially smart and planning for retirement. Savings is amazeballs in every man’s eye. Women are known to be frivolous with money, but you should always be financially smart. Owning property, saying that you own stocks and put money into a retirement account or mutual fund is sexy and what’s here are two words that will make any man or woman’s heart melt…being debt-free. At any age, make sure to start setting aside a savings, always put money into your company’s 401K, even if it is just the minimum for the company to match, and finding deals should be something you want to share. You should save for your own personal well-being. You should be able to take care of yourself with or without a man. You should be proud of your savings and share it with your other girlfriends.
24. Throw your calendar in the garbage. One of the greatest takeaways from life with S. Life is full of unexpected surprises, it’s full of fun and when you forget about planning each hour, the best memories, the best moments can be from waking up one morning and taking a random drive to Annapolis and taking so many stops that it takes 6 hours to get there.
25. Laughter is the best remedy. Laughter…it burns calories and its good for the soul. Laughing is the best music you can send out to the world. It’s contagious, so share it with the world. Laugh over silly things, laugh over good conversation, laugh over good memories, just laugh.
For the girls in the #SSEB, I hope you never forget these as we set on our adventures. For other girls, remember, you are who you are. Love yourself first. Everything else will fall into place.
Some amazing quotes to inspire…