The day after the accident was the worst day, but the entire week was a struggle. I woke up the next morning and just hurt. My entire body hurt and my knee forgot how to move, my left side hurt, and the bruising turned black. I pulled my knee over the bed to go change because Shari was coming to visit. I put my pants on one leg fine, but I could not get the other leg in without the pain. At that moment, I cried and it hit me. I could not get my pants on without laying in bed, I cannot go to the gym and do my gym classes, I cannot even leave the house without limping. When I went to Shari’s for dinner in a dress, I had more bruises on my legs that I never saw and people were asking if that was from the accident or those who did not know, probably thought someone beat me.
I was beyond blessed to survive, but this girl in 10 seconds changed my life.
Now my days are filled with dealing with insurance calls, doctor appointments, and eventually physical therapy, trying to find a new car, comforting my parents that I’m ok, keeping up on work, and day after day trying to remind myself that it will all be ok and that worst things could have happened to me.
Through the week, I was so blessed to have such wonderful friends to visit everyday like Shari, Sanam, Moon, endless phone calls and emails from everyone around the world. Moon picked me up to make sure I could spend Christmas with the gang and Shari made sure I spent the weekend with her family.
My best friend Maryam heard through her husband and called me immediately. She was so upset because she saw the pictures and remembered sitting in that same car before she moved. She kept saying…tell me the truth, are you ok?
I have always told people, bored Linda=dangerous Linda. From being stuck at home, in pain, with cabin fever, I texted S. I sent the pictures and reminded him to always wear his seatbelt and of course he said he was shocked, worried if I’m ok, and let him know if I needed anything.
Yes…slap me across the face now, but it actually helped. To realize that the person who said he loved me, never stopped loving me, and let me go to be happy just back in October and the same person who promised when he left that he would always be there for me, his actions spoke louder than words. He does not keep any promises. You would think after 2 years and everything I did for him in our relationship that he would think about visiting just to make sure I was ok? No and ironically that day, I realized that person I met 2 years ago is no longer there, not even a microscopic piece is left, he’s a stranger.
But that moment made me realize, I have no more feelings. Not anger, sadness, nothing. He does not exist to me anymore. Since August I would say I’m 90% moved on, but there was always a small part hoping that I would see the old person that I had fallen in love with which is why it was hard to commit to anyone. Now I’m 100% ready, with no regrets, nothing, ready for 2014 to bring new love.
Mike had called to check on me and had told me for awhile about stopping my dating rampage and go for quality. He really recommended Match.com and a lot of the SSEB girls and my other friends have done it too.
After last week, you realize how important people are in your life and having someone who will always be your support.
I do always believe that there are blessings in disguise. The day I signed up for Match.com, ironically, someone from my dating rampage came back in my life. I think he was #6 out of the slew of first dates and we hit it off really well, but I kept thinking, I have to keep dating to make sure I knew what I wanted. Well, when he heard I was hurt, he came over with presents. I asked, why keep chasing after me when I ignore your texts, tell you I got a new phone and do not recognize your number, and stand you up several times when we planned something that he still wants to pursue things? He told me he knew I was going through a dating rampage and that he just had to wait his turn again, but I was worth it. He offered to help buy me a car, he offered his opinion on the car, and asked if he could take me anywhere.
Slow, but steady, limpy, pain meds, and a smile…trying to get back to my normal life: