Excuse me…I just turned straight…!?!

Marice and I caught up for her belated B-Day and she was laughing at all my stories. She says it is the best IMG_31574339594775entertainment.

I mentioned to Marice as we were walking that I don’t think she can have a first post-break-up date more traumatic than me. I am still traumatized from V, who just turned straight. She said I never shared this story and I cannot believe I forgot.

V and I met literally 3 days after I was single. I was with Desiree in Chinatown at an event. Well, since Des and I are such networkers, I lost her somehow in the crowd and she was not answering my texts. I saw this really tall guy and asked him if he could look for her. He said, he could not see her, but when he could not see her, he started chit chatting. Well, he asked if he could take me out.

I told him that if he wanted to, he’d have to come out to where I live, which is far. That Saturday he drove his ass from Rockville to NOVA and took me on my first date. He was charming, smart, worked in IT, funny, and extremely good-looking. Des was so excited because she like me is a romantic, so she thought it was fate. I believed it too. I thought…good riddance to S, it was meant to be because V was so much better and sweeter. But there is always a catch to every fairy tale…

We went out a few times, he told me he cared about me, but at that time I was still very flighty. One night Des and I were at Rose Bar, after asking where I was, he showed up all of a sudden. I was talking to a bunch of other people and he grabbed me. Des being the amazing wing woman left us to talk. He told me how beautiful I looked and asked me to turn around.

I leaned in and said, “Aren’t you jealous you don’t have anything sparkly like this?”

V:         Baby, but I have a closet full.

Me:      Shocked and confused. I laughed and said, very funny.

V:         No, seriously, it’s a choice I made; I just turned straight for you. I like beautiful women like you.

Speechless, confused, disheartened, I walked over to the bar and texted Des to come over immediately. She came over; I said you better get a drink. I told her what happened and she was shocked. She just kept saying, but he’s so beautiful.

Oh there was no argument. I just kept nodding and saying exactly. V kept coming over to see why I left him, but thank goodness Des is such a good body guard and dragged me away. That was the last we saw of each other.

And…I’m sure you are all wondering if any hanky panky happened. Thank goodness I am a slow mover, but we did nothing but hold hands, not even a kiss. Unfortunately, he kept asking why I was distant for a while and eventually I saved his number as Asshole whatever in my phone and that was it.

Normally, men turn gay, not the other way, but in this case…he just turned straight.

So moral of the story is that I apparently have the power to turn men straight and that ladies and gentlemen was my first date after being newly single.

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