One of the things that my Twin, Juju, Cepand, Moon, and the girls love about me is that I can always see the brighter things in life and I never really let anything get me down. Plus, I can always make them laugh.
It’s my year-end, so I might be a little MIA, but I know some of you are going through some ups and downs right now and I hope by sharing my piece, it helps you see that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In the meantime, y’all know anytime you do need a pick-me-up, I’m available to you day or night via text, email, and FB. I might be a little slower than usual, but you can still count on me.
It’s funny, I look around and for many of my friends, I met them when they were at rock bottom and our friendship grew stronger from there. Maybe it’s my role to meet people when their down and shower them with optimism, well at least as much as I can before they kill me.
Some joke and tell me that they wished they had my life since I always seem so happy and I’m so well-put together. It’s true; my life is filled with good friends, family, and adventures, but I have my battles too. It’s just the way you view it.
This year was hands down the toughest one thus far. I had obstacle after obstacle thrown at me. It was physically and mentally draining, but you would never know because it’s better to believe that things could be worst and really it can.
My family, friends, doctors and co-workers were shocked how quickly I was able to recover after the accident and I seemed fully functional, but I will admit I can relate how easy it is to spiral to a place where you don’t want to leave your bed.
The reason I didn’t was because of all of my friends who didn’t let me. Shari, Moon, Karen, Savoy, Julie, Lisa, Cepand, Amber, Sanam(s), Taban just to name a few made sure to keep an eye on me and made sure I never missed a step.
Sanam is my best friend and gym partner. We went every day before the accident. I remember after the accident, it was 2 months when I first went back to the gym, Sanam made sure to slow down her routine to match what I could handle. She never let me feel as if I couldn’t do what I used to do. She told me every day that I will be able to be 100% again soon and it’s true.
Just a few weeks after, Lisa and I had to head to Jamaica. We had already booked the trip before. I told her that I might not be able to do everything and she would have to be patient. She made sure to take care of me the whole time. She was never upset when I did not walk with a wobble nor did she turn away as I walked along the beach with bruises on my legs.
Julie dealt with my memory loss like a champ. I remember after the accident, she was the first one to point it out. When she heard about my accident, she cried and her mom was ready to hop on a plane from Utah to take care of me if my parents couldn’t. Last year she went through a rough break-up and we said day after day that one day he would see her randomly and regret his decision. Apparently it happened around the same time as my accident. One day, she told me the story and I said, “Shut up, why didn’t you tell me?” She said, I have 5 times, but you forget every time, but at least you answer the same exact way each time.
The Obstacle Course:
- My Hot Mess Stage– The girls met me at the middle of my hot mess stage more than a year and a half ago and for those who were the there, it was a fun chapter in my life. And I say hot mess because I didn’t do anything, but go out a lot. I will be very honest, I was a complete asshole to guys. The minute anyone got attached to me during that phase, I walked away. I went out every night, but that only lasted a few months and then my life was focused on the gym. I realized it’s ok to have hot mess stages here and there in your life.
- Work- Work is rough. That’s all I am going to say. Being in the budget environment is one of the most stressful jobs, especially for the Government because we are always running out of money. The politics, expectations, and now wondering what I want to do.
The Accident– This threw me for a loophole. Before the accident, I was very active and also sadly, I will admit 20 lbs lighter. My diet isn’t horrible, but I do constantly have to go to the gym to keep the weight off. So when I wasn’t able to be as active, the weight just came back on. But it’s ok, small stuff. I guess a lot of you really never knew I had the accident because I was at home and then out and about and unless you saw my legs, nothing else was very visible, but here is the post about the accident. Click here.
- The Recovery and Issues– 4 months of PT, endless doctor visits and tests, I would say I’m 95% whole again. You definitely get reminders that you can’t really be whole once in a while. The one hard thing is that I drive past the same road every day to get home. Most of the time, I can make that left turn without an issue. Once in a while for some reason I can’t. I stop and sit there, looking around 10 times before inching up because I don’t want to be hit again. For me, it’s random back and neck pain, my knee and once in a while my hip that reminds me to slow down in life. But thank goodness no more headaches, I have no idea who people with chronic migraines function. Not only that, but my memory loss issues. The toughest part is – how to remember. I used to be able to remember everything without writing it down, Aline was shocked how good my memory was. Now, it’s my biggest struggle. Especially at work, I have to flag emails, block my calendar, write everything in a notebook with a check mark and my desk is full of stickies. And there are honestly times where it’s not that I forget, they are black-out moments where I don’t remember ever being handed a piece of paper or having a specific conversation. I think eventually my brain will re-adjust, but it’s just a small battle.
- Weight. Ugh…Worst topic ever! My entire life I’ve always had to work hard at keeping my weight off. It’s not my diet, but a big portion in my case is genetics. Well, with the accident and not being able to go to the gym as regularly, I gained like 25 lbs. But you know what, weight can always come off, but an ugly personality can’t. Right? I hope y’all are shaking your head, so I’m not alone in this.
- Money isn’t everything. You need money to have a good life, but money shouldn’t drive all your decisions. It comes and goes. For my car, I lost $3 K on it. Obviously the insurance always low balls you and it wasn’t even my fault.
- Stuff is just stuff. When things get ruined, I really don’t care. It can be replaced. People can’t.
- Take as many pictures as possible. I have always been obsessed, but now even more because when people die, the only thing left are pictures.
- Cherish your friends.
- Spend time for your parents.
- Take care of your health.
Why I Wouldn’t Trade This Year:
- The amazing friends I have gained. I would have never met my closest friends without going through my hot mess phase.
- They say hard times show you who your real friends are. I can tell you how lucky I am that every single one of my friends never let me down. They held my hand through everything. Shari came and kept me company every day after the accident. When I get off at the wrong bus stop because I forget, Sanam picks me up, and Julie is at my side day or night when I need a laugh.
- Expand my blog. I would have never had time to write as I do now and I would have never gotten published, still one of the best moments of my life.
- Learning to live life more fully. I think I’ve always been an adventurer, but after the accident, it was really an awakening that you don’t have that much time. I made my YOLO list and I’ve been checking things off along the way.
They say everything happens for a reason and you hear me say that. At times, it’s so hard to understand why things happen, but down the road, you do realize things happen for a reason.
So hopefully you do realize that everyone does fight a battle, whether or not their life seems so put together, even the happiest people have a few bad days, but just remember, count your blessings because it could always be worst.